Cashews? Bless you!

I scored some major points the other night with my wife, Melissa. I was wondering aloud what cashew apples taste like. Which was a totally relevant comment since we were watching a movie about a romantic relationship. OK.Not exactly relevant, but this is what I do. If something pops into my ugly mugg, I feel the need to share it with her, right then, right there, no matter what we're doing (to her chagrin, mostly).

The conversation went like this:

Me: "That's interesting what the character said about the the duel modalities about the market economy in the southern colonies. I wonder what cashew apples taste like?"

Her: "What in the names of Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby and Johnny are you talking about? Cashew apples????"

Me: "Yeah, the cashew apple -- the accessory fruit to the cashew. Duh."

Her: "Do we have a serious sleep gummy issue we're not addressing here?"

Me: "I just have never seen them in stores."

Her: "Publix has a whole section of nuts, of which the cashew variety is adequately represented."

Me: "I know. But no cashew apples!"

Her: “You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library. And you think there's such an animal as the cashew apple?"

Me: (Googles cashew apples, finds photo, shares with wife in haughty display of pompousness)

Her: (unimpressed) "Photo is obviously AI. FAKE NEWS!"

Me: (starting to rub it in) “See, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. But, cashew apples? I am the Shostakovich of worthless agricultural trivia."

Her "You're Shostamuttonhead"

Me: "And you are the best part of my day, Will.”

Further reading answered my question of why these little known legune live-in lovers aren't sold at Publix (or any other US supermarket). The fruit, grown only in South America, isn't built for wear (think Cybertruck) and decays rapidly after picking. But, the webite Mashed tells me it "tastes as like a mix between front-of-the-mouth sweet with a touch of sour, similar to an apple."

Sounds delicious. I wonder if sleep gummies come in such a flavor...

I'll be sure to bring that up tonight during Being John Malcovich.